SOCIAL DISTANCING, Humor During Dark Times

Author:
—Allen Johnson Jr., Chairman and Founder

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Published on:
April 6, 2020

Having been stuck in my home for several weeks, a victim of “social distancing,” I decided to walk around the neighborhood in the hopes of finding someone to talk with. All I found was a brown, skinny hound-like dog who was standing at the end of his driveway barking at me. Well, he was better than nothing, so I decided to answer. I can do two rather credible barks—a small-dog bark and a large-dog bark.

I tried the large-dog bark and the hound looked bored, so I tried the small-dog bark. He responded with enthusiasm. I wasn’t sure what I had said, so I said it again. Same response. I am not sure how long we kept this up, but finally, when he was having his say, I started to think the following:

"This dog is speaking dog and knows what he is saying. His behavior is normal. I, on the other hand, am a human being speaking dog and haven’t a clue what I am saying. My behavior is stupid!"

At this point, I stopped speaking to the dog and looked nervously up and down the street to see who had been watching. (No one wants to be observed behaving stupidly.) Phew! There was nobody on the street. Saved by Social Distancing!

Woof!